ATTACK OF THE FRISBEE ZOMBIES
The cool breeze blew over the great giant, Lake Ontario, and caused a special portal to open up in the sky by which Frisbee Zombies emerged onto the field of play unphased by the game of ball and in search of plastic disc-like brains. Like a group of pals huddled into a safehouse awaiting the moment when they would have to utilize melee weapons and sniper rifles to make their way around the bases and safely home, the Field of Dreamers played spirited defensive gems. Would the Zom/bee players create friction among the Comrades or would it be the Humdingers who would be the centre of the Walking Dead soundtrack? Would the Blush kiss their spirits goodbye or would the Valley Cats join the herd and scratch and claw their way to Zombieapocalypse.
You’ll have to keep reading to find out!
HUMBER RIVER HUMDINGERS vs. CREDIT RIVER COMRADES
There was a buzz in the air as the Humdingers prepared for their early game matchup against the confident Comrades. The Humber squad was looking to be the first group to top Credit River in the charts and break Drake’s most recent streaming records. Deep in the recesses of the dugout, one Comrade, Jarl the Slayer was prepping his attack and mumbling about boring American rap music and Drake and how all great songs were those of the Soviets. Who would be singing when the dust had settled was still up for debate as both teams got off to a great defensive start! A couple of hot shots to third were stopped by …. Hi! I just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number….Colin, maybe? While Jess and Karen arrived in time to help push Humber up by a pair. And so it went, verse/chorus/verse/chorus as Credit and Humber were locked into a 4-4 tie after 4 innings. That is until Robyn Letson, Nav Sidhu, and Jill Aoki-Barrett loaded the bases with a disciplined and relentless chorus of the Internationale and Johann Juarez descended from the mountains of Lancandon Jungle to wallop a Grand Slam that would put the Comrades up for good with a final score of 11-5 Credit. Despite the set-back the Humdingers were in rocking spirit and looked to enter the next week with a little extra bounce in their step! (Craig Fortier, Rouge River Blush).
ROUGE RIVER BLUSH vs. DON RIVER VALLEY CATS
The match between the Don River Valley Cats and the Rouge River Blush was a hot dog indeed, with many canine faces present to cheer and howl players on (namely Appa, Lil Bits, and Honey). Some accusations were thrown about whether ump Darren may’ve been keeping pork chops in his pockets (an ambling border collie would agree) but the claim could neither be confirmed or disputed. Anyway, the tournament started with a bit of a holdout as the game’s first few innings mirrored Jenny’s jersey numbers (0/0) and this was thanks to a very strong defence! Noteworthy plays include Rouge’s TH making blistering catches at first; Don Valley’s Phill, who’s jump-skip-and-hop of a play was memorable; and subbing in, Amanda, who growled and hissed their way into the defence for Don, pawing Andy’s ground ball to a halt.
But the river’s currents were strong and the runs came surging in! As did the shirtless frisbee zombies!
A jar was opened in the fourth inning when Joseph began pickle dancing a dalliance between second basefriend Craig, and third basefriend Sarah, to an ending which was ultimately vinegar. Leopard Laura knocked in two runs and Serval Shelagh had a brilliant smack out to third. Red Rocio scored two for Rouge and Terrance coyly batted in a triple. Mahogany Merle blazed the way with four hits.
The game was truly a back-and-forth affair, ending in 9-6, with Blush coming out as victor. But no make-up is permanent (not even micro-blading) so this writer recommends washing daily with Cetaphil (or a gentle cleanser of your choice) and calls on the Valley Cats to get ready for next week’s grooming. (Jenny Chan, Rouge River Blush).
See the game box scores here
See player stats here
See league standings here
MILESTONES
Credit River
Darren Puscas -currently ranks 23rd on the all time list with 111 career at-bats!
Rachele Gottardi -becomes 37th player in league history to reach 80 career at-bats!
Tanis Franco -becomes 80th player in league history to reach 10 career hits!
Yogi Acharya -becomes 13th player in league history to reach 90 career hits (91)!
Robyn Letson -becomes 19th player in league history to reach 125 career at-bat (126)!
Karl Gardner -becomes 4th player in league history to reach 130 career runs batted in!
Jill Aoki-Barrett -is currently ranked 2nd in the league this season with 17 singles!
Nav Sidhu -is currently tied for 24th in league history with 8 career doubles!
Johann Juarez -becomes only 2nd player in league history to reach 40 career home runs, and then 41, and then 42!
Don River
Niloofar Golkar – becomes 34th player in league history to reach 40 career singles!
Stuart Schussler – currently ranks 33rd in league history with 83 career at-bats (up 5 spots!)
Katie German – becomes 33rd player in league history to reach 50 career hits (51)!
Caren Weisbart – becomes 90th player in league history to record at least 3 runs batted in!
Phill Morgan – hits 1st career home run becoming the 33rd player in league history to go deep at least once!
Kate Uffelman – becomes 47th player in league history to score at least 20 career runs!
Laura Pin – becomes 35th player in league history to reach 25 career runs batted in!
Shelagh Pizey Allen – currently tied for 36th all time with 36 career singles!
Andrew Norton – becomes 29th player in league history to reach 60 career hits (61!)
Humber River
Annelies Cooper – becomes 14th player in league history to reach 90 career hits!
Brianna Greaves – becomes 53rd player in league history to reach 35 career hits!
Rachel Small – see oddities below!
Colin Hastings – currently ranks 5th in league history with 93 career runs scored!
Devin Clancy – becomes 12th player in league history to score 60 career runs!
Alex Brant – becomes 32nd player in league history to reach 50 career hits (51)!
Jo Jefferson – becomes 9th player in league history to reach 160 career at-bats!
Karen Campbell – currently ranks 34th in league history with 82 career at-bats!
Jessica Duarte – currently tied for 46th all-time with 66 career at-bats!
Rouge River
Jenny Chan – see oddities below!
Sarah Weinberger – becomes 70th player in league history to reach 25 career at-bats!
TH Vega – becomes 59th player in league history to reach 50 career at bats (52)!
Terrance Luscombe – see oddities below!
Samira Banihashemi – becomes 92nd player in league history to reach 10 career at-bats!
Umar Saeed – currently tied for 43rd all-time with 41 career hits!
Craig Fortier – see oddities below!
Rocio Velasquez Guzman – becomes 29th player in league history to score at least 30 career runs!
Merle Davis Matthews – becomes 29th player in league history to reach 30 career runs batted in!
Andy Smith – currently ranks 20th in league history with 42 runs batted in (up 6 spots!)
SUBS
Lauren Kozicki – becomes the 121st player in league history to reach 2 career hits!
Amanda Saunders – becomes the 128th player in league history to register at least 1 career hit!
Joseph Bautista – becomes 51st player in league history to reach 3 career doubles!
Saren Smillie – hits 1st career Triple! becomes 32nd player in league history to hit at least one triple!
Kelsey Patton – becomes 120th player in league history to reach 2 career hits!
ODDITIES
125….seconds apart!
Rachel Small and Jenny Chan become the 5th and 6th players in league history to reach 125 career hits – only seconds apart from each other during the same game!
A Mile Long Milestone List
Terrance Luscombe becomes 12th player in league history to reach 150 career at-bats, 11th player in league history to reach 100 career hits, and 16th player in league history to reach 60 career singles – all in the same at-bat!!!
SUPER 300
Craig Fortier becomes the first player in league history to reach the 300 hit mark!