August 1st 2021

MATCHBOX 20-21

It wasn’t 3AM but the sky gleamed so smooth that it felt like it bent towards the bright lights. Yes, the Field of Dreamers were overjoyed and there was a push to hang some dingers into the dog bowl of Bellwoods during these hard times.

Would the Rouge River Rainbow Rebellion spill their fruit salad all over the Cuties from Credit? Or would those Credit River Sweeties walk the beat and deliver the peppers and onions that feel good?

Would the Donna River Don Don Revolution boomerang runners around the bases to make the crowd feel like summer? Or would the Humber River Habeneros turn up the heat to the point where all the crowd can do is spread that hot hot heat and talk with me and dance with me?

If you wanna know the results…

READ MORE TO FIND OUT!

Photo Credit: Victoria Barnett

DON RIVER DON DON REVOLUTION @ HUMBER RIVER HABANEROS

In the first match of the evening, the Don Don Revolution looked to enter the dance stage and then max out on the groove radar as they lined up against the Humber River Habaneros who planned to assert that the tilde ~ that is often added to their name – is actually a hyperforeignism that mispronounces their moniker because it confuses the pronunciation for that of jalapeño, but they digress.

In the first inning it was the e-sportsers from Don who blew the door open. Following the arrows stacked on the field, KMB (Kay McGregor-Bales), Jenny Chan, Craig Fortier, and dreamer subs Colin Hastings and LJ Robinson all maximized their voltage over the beat of a j-pop track to pull out to a 5-0 (Wow! Amazing! Keep Going!) lead. Meanwhile the Habaneros of River Humber provided a single scorching ghost pepper off the bat of Alie Hermanutz, a home run!, to make the score 5-1.

In the second inning, the DDR focused on some complex footwork and saw MJ Rwigema, TG Wong, Suzanne Narain, and Ro Velasquez Guzman step on more PERFECTS! than BOOS! to pull out to a 9-1 lead. The Habaneros, however, were dripping capsicum as they planned to make you regret ordering your burrito “extra” hot. The second inning saw Robyn Letson, Yassi Aghazadeh, Annelies Cooper, ahd Phill “the Gargoyle Pimento” Morgan make that hot sauce extra seedy and they drew the score back to 9-5.

By the third inning, Don River was starting to extend the score like they were a 13 year old kid at Dave & Buster’s trying to impress their friend. Tamara Daley and TG Wong hit some advanced level bonus points and Rachele Clemente flared a key single – and the score was now 13-5. The Habeneros however, had the DDR right where they wanted them – at the base of spice mountain. So with a million scovilles running through their veins, Samira Banihashemi, Devin Clancy, Jill Aoki, and Kevin Nguyen, as it is tradition around here, put a little extra on the last one and dropped a 6 on Don to pull within two 13-11.

The rest of the game, however, saw the DDR play some solid defence and they were able to push through the wings of death like Rachel Ray in that epic episode of Hot Ones.

FINAL SCORE – DON RIVER 21 – HUMBER RIVER 13

ROUGE RIVER RAINBOW REBELLION @ CREDIT RIVER CUTIES

Under the coming dark of night, the Credit River Cuties felt like it was their time to shine as the Rebellion’s Rainbow began to fade – and yet, the Prism Pugilists from the East Side watched the moon rise in the horizon and realized that it was time to start the revolt.

The Rainbow Rebellion stepped to the plate in the first inning and saw star lead-off hitter Sarah Weinberger sling skittles into the outfield. Then Joseph “Joey Bats” Bautista cashed in Sarah to add to Rouge’s pot of gold. But they would be held to a single coin as the Cutie defense catwalked into a quick inning. The RRRR led by 1 after their at-bat. Credit wasn’t waiting around for someone to ask them on a date, they were swiping right in the batter’s box with zeal! Perhaps it was due to the thoughtful coaching of Credit River comrade Claudia Colabro – but the Cuties were about to light up the dms of the Rainbow Rebellion. Victoria Barnett, Shannon Dunham, Oskar Eliashevsky, Fianna Dirks, and Devin “420, put your lighters up!” Clancy all walked the runway, spinned, turned, and sache’d their way to a 5-1 lead.

In the second inning, the Red Rivers planned to give the Cuties their dietary requirements of bran with Sena Hussain and Terrance Luscombe contributing on the bases and Ryan Hayes and Vanessa Gray contributing on the field. The 4R pulled into a tie 5-5. The Cuties sparkled, however, in the bottom of the second and they provided the dessert that saw Niloofar Golkar make perhaps a dozen defensive gem plays at third base, while rookie Awasis had Rebellion leader Terrance Luscombe exclaim that they had not seen a runner speed down the bases like that since the infamous Dreamer speedster pair of Jenny Chan and Annelies Cooper! After three innings the score was 11-5 Credit.

The top of the 4th, however, saw the Rebellion find their charge. They were clearly planning on slapping pride flag stickers all over the field like a Big Box Store in June. Super sub LJ Robinson combined with 4R stalwarts Grant Butterworth and Rishi Switzer Krishnamoorthy to gain entry to the party like it was Crews & Tangos circa 2008! The Rainbow Rebellion had tied the game 11-11.

In the 5th inning, the RRRR spread more rainbow joy and it was 13-11. The Cuties came up in their final at-bats needing two to tie and three to win. Fianna Dirks started with a double and Devin Clancy glanced a single for an RBI and it was 13-12. But then Clancy was erased on a Fielders Choice, moved to third on a Awasis and then a second out was made. Victoria Barnett, the Gargoyle sub, primped and preened, the tying run – before Shannon Dunham slipped a ball through the whole that scored the winning run!

FINAL SCORE ROUGE RIVER 13- CREDIT RIVER 14

See the game box scores here

See player stats here

See league standings here

ocean.parkway-1.5.half_.milestone

MILESTONES

Credit River
Shannon Dunham – see firsts below!
Oskar Eliashevsky – becomes the 74th player in league history to reach 25 career singles!
Niloo Golkar – becomes the 30th player in league history to reach 90 career hits (91)!
Fianna Dirks – becomes the 24th player in league history to reach 13 career doubles!
Claudia Colabro – see firsts below!
Awasis – see firsts below!

Don River
MJ Rwigema – see firsts below!
TG Wong – see firsts below!
Tamara Daley – becomes the 52nd player in league history to hit at least 1 career triple!
Jenny Chan – becomes the 11th player in league history to reach 85 career runs batted in!
Craig Fortier – currently ranks 3rd on the all-time list with 172 career singles!
Rachele Clemente – currently ranks 19th on the all-time list with 188 career at-bats!
Ro Velasquez Guzman – becomes 29th player in league history to reach 70 career singles (72)!
Suzanne Narain – becomes the 109th player in league history to reach 10 career hits (11)!
Kay McGregor-Bales – becomes the 49th player in league history to reach 50 career hits!

Humber River
Annelies Cooper– becomes the 13th player in league history to reach 235 career at-bats!
Samira Banihashemi – currently ranks 53rd on the all-time list with 27 career runs scored!
Jill Aoki – becomes 55th player in league history to reach 70 career at-bats!
Yassi Aghazadeh – becomes the 125th player in league history to reach 6 career hits!
Alie Hermanutz – becomes the 29th player in league history to reach 2 career home runs!
Kevin Nguyen – becomes the 123rd player in league history to reach 10 career at-bats!
Robyn Letson – becomes the 20th player in league history to reach 115 career hits (116)!
Devin Clancy – currently ranks 6th on the all-time list with 163 career singles!

Rouge River
Sena Hussain –
becomes the 56th player in league history to reach 25 career runs scored!
Vanessa Gray – see firsts!
Terrance Luscombe – see oddities below!
Rishi Switzer Krishnamoorthy – see firsts!
Grant Butterworth – see firsts!
Sarah Weinberger – becomes the 55th player in league history to reach 75 career at-bats (76)!
Joseph Bautista – becomes the 24th player in league history to hit 80 career singles!
Ryan Hayes – ranks 2nd on the all-time list with 84 career doubles!

Garrison Creek
Victoria Barnett – see oddities below!
Phill Morgan – becomes 43rd player in league history to reach 50 career singles!

Subs
Colin Hastings– becomes 17th player in league history to reach 80 career singles (81)!
LJ Robinson– ranks 4th on the all-time list with 165 career singles!

Baseball-near-Second-Base

FIRSTS

Shannon Dunham (Credit) – first run scored!
Claudia Calabro– first career run scored, first career run batted in!
Awasis – first career at-bat, first career hit, first career single, first career run scored, first career run batted in!
MJ Rwigema (Don) – first career at bat, first career hit, first career single, first career double, first career run scored!
Vanessa Gray (Rouge) – first at-bat for Rouge River!
TG Wong(Don) – first career double!
Grant Butterworth (Rouge) – first career 4 hit game!
Rishi Switzer Krishnamoorthy – first career double!

ODDITIES

FIVER

Terrance Luscombe reached a number of milestones last week: 250 at-bats (10th all-time); 175 hits (10th all-time); 105 singles (15th all-time)!

42-80

Victoria Barnett (Garrison) #42 ranks 35th on the all-time list with 42 career runs scored. That means that Victoria has scored roughly 80% of the times she has reached base.